V's sanctuary

It was such a burden that I had to carry for years. Heaps of unanswered questions that need to be resolved. Then, my prayer was answered. I feel relieved. Hurt was healed. What left was just memories.. the past..and a new beginning.

I only thought it will only happen in my dream, but it happened. I have to pinched myself to be sure it happened. But why?? Must have a very good reason for it to happen. For sure, it answers heaps of questions. Questions that leave me wide awake at nights, questions that leave me speechless.

Got another good news. My prayer was answered. Alhamdulillah...

I have been thinking quite lately. Thinking mostly about myself, those mistakes I made, feeling the devil in me. What happened to me actually?? A question that I need to find the answer immediately.

I started early today. Has been in the office since 9am and lost track of time. Didn't even bother to have lunch. Went home to eat dinner and that's when I feel so exhausted. I haven't done my prayer yet. Need to do that first before crashing the bed.

Got nudged by someone on the net. Curious a little.. Anyway have lots of things in mind but then again I believe in my first instinct. Beware of strangers.. And this time, I listen!

Has turning 30ish makes one wiser? I doubt it! Life seems to be more complicated than ever. The older one gets the more unanswered questions piling up.

Met a person that I’ve known for more than I remember. We crossed the same path couple of times in life. Apart from exchanging hellos, jokes here and there and that’s about it! As a little girl, I always have this fascination and I’m not sure why. The gaps between us seems broader and perhaps due to the respect that we have for each other.

A decade passed by, I was no longer a girl but yet not a woman. I can vividly remember him as it was just yesterday. He looks the same, never seems to age a single day. His smiles, his grinning eyes.. and ya..he’s loud as ever! Hahhaha…

We’ve met again. Sharing the same roof for about a year, I can always tell him anything and talk to him about everything in this world. Knowing him, I saw something in his eyes, transition in his expression, a second of lost thought.. Or maybe it was just a trick of my eyes.. But for sure, there’s something..

Faith has done its task. We met again across work and it changed the whole thing. Where does it come from?? A lot of questions that myself couldn’t bare to answer. Is this some sort of challenges that I’ve to face??

I’m far away from being angel and yet I’m not a devil. I have to be content but yet I’m human that can’t run away from making mistakes. I remember he used to teach me needs are necessities and wants are something one can lives without. Balancing on equilibrium and reconciliation. Talking to him again this time making life seems easier or was it wants? Or needs? There is always things that when your mind says one thing but your heart says something else.. At times, it hurts to keep it to yourself but it hurts more by saying it..

All I know, he’s just like me..

Till then..